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Oh no gas no gas no gas no...
19 December 2005
Oh, good grief. How cold can one man be? I have lost all contact with my feet...
When they took the windows out a couple of weeks back and let the blizzard in, I thought that was the coldest I was ever likely to be, withindoors. I was, not to put too fine a point on it, wrong. I could at least run the heating then, and huddle close to the radiator while the arctic winds howled throughout my house.
Not no more, I can't. I may have new windows, but even double glazing can't retain heat that doesn't exist. A man came round this morning to change my gas meter; he ended up by disconnecting the entire supply. He tells me I have a leak, and am legally prohibited from using anything until it's fixed. Which means no cooking (!), no baths (!!) and no heating (!!?X@!!).
My nice gas engineer is due to have a look this afternoon, but that will only be a beginning, as he'll need to test everything, every pipe and every appliance in the house. Howwwl...! I should be in good voice for the ghost stories this evening, all shuddery and creaky and my very breath striking a chill into the audience...
© Chaz Brenchley 2005
Reproduced here by permission of Chaz Brenchley, who asserts his moral right to be identified as the author of this work.